warning: file_exists(): open_basedir restriction in effect. File(/var/www/vhosts/glencoenews.com/httpdocs/../ad_/ad_cache_.inc) is not within the allowed path(s): (/var/www/vhosts/glencoenews.com/httpdocs/:/tmp/) in /var/www/vhosts/glencoenews.com/httpdocs/sites/all/modules/ad/adserve.inc on line 160.

Garden doesn’t live up to expectations

When I bought my house over a decade ago, there was a bare patch in the backyard where a small, wooden shed once stood.
I had two options: plant grass seed, or do the Minnesota thing and plant a vegetable garden. I had images of neat rows of lush vegetables from which I would pluck side dishes while my pork chops cooked to perfection on the grill.
As usual, the reality didn’t live up to the expectations.
The first year, a cucumber plant choked out the rest of the garden and gave me more cucumbers than one person could ever use. I tried giving them away, but everyone else had the same problem.
As I was trying to palm them off on others, one cucumber rolled unnoticed under the car seat. It was noticed several days later when the smell of rotting vegetable filled the car one rainy day. Ever tried to clean rotting cucumber mush from under a car seat? Not an experience I would wish on my worst enemy.
The next year, I tried cherry tomatoes, lettuce, beans and a watermelon plant.
Again, I had way too many cherry tomatoes, the rabbits munched down the bean plants and my retriever-mix dog plucked the watermelons. Apparently, he thought I was growing tennis balls and softballs for him to play with.
I did salvage one watermelon that, with no competition, grew to huge proportions.
I knew it was an epic watermelon when I took it to a family function and my mother took one look at it and said, “how the hell are we going to slice that thing?”
The only other time I ever heard her swear was the day she drove her car home from the repair shop and it started on fire as she pulled into the driveway.
The next year, I bought a box of wildflower seeds and scattered them in the garden. I had no idea what was weeds and what was wildflowers.
The year after that, the garden was half sweet corn and half other vegetables. The sweet corn went well for a couple of years, then I hit a bad spell.
This year, my garden is a lush spread of onions, lettuce, green and wax beans and a few other plants.
Each day, I diligently weed it, look at it and think, “I don’t even like vegetables.”
Maybe this is the year it will get sown back into grass.