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History of dentistry can be found in me

It’s funny how you can look at the same thing day after day without really noticing it.
I was brushing my teeth the other day, and was trying to squeeze the last gob of toothpaste out of a nearly empty tue when I noticed that the toothpaste was specially formulate for people “with over 50 years of experience.”
Experience in what, I wondered. So I asked the question on Facebook, because that always attracts quality answers. This is what I got: “chewing,” “flapping your gums” and “life.”
The “flapping your gums” comment got way too many “likes” in a short amount of time for my taste. Of course, if they hadn’t been talking about me, I would have found it funny.
I have been blessed with pretty good teeth. I still have them all, they’re pretty even and they chew up food well.
I’ve had a minimal amount of dental work, but my dentist assures me that I’ve had enough that if I crash and my body is burned beyond recognition, they can still identify my remains through my dental records.
This is the same dentist who talked me into buying a high-priced electric toothbrush several years ago. I have to confess, I love it. It makes my teeth feel like I just left the hygienist’s chair.
In fact, I confessed to my dentist that I was glad he talked me into it and that I would gladly endorse the product with other patients.
“I could be your celebrity spokesman,” I told him.
“You could,” he agreed, “if you were actually a celebrity.”
Anyway, it occurred to me that not only could I be identified through my dental records, but a true archeologist could estimate my age by the work that’s been done.
I still have a silver filling or two from childhood. I have at least one gold crown and, more recently, I’ve had work done with ceramic, porcelain and maybe plastic. You can use my teeth to trace the advances in dentistry from the early ’70s to the present day.
What you won’t be able to tell is how much food I’ve chewed, how often I flap my gums or what my life experiences have been.
And I think the next time I buy toothpaste, I’ll read the label a little better.